lessons from fraulein maria.

there's something about 'the sound of music' that i have always loved. since childhood it has been a favorite of mine and over countless viewings i have gleaned different elements, lessons, things of importance from it. as i have grown and changed i've connected with varying facets of the film. it may sound cheesy (because maybe it is) but it also sounds true (because certainly it is). lately i've been very struck by the saying (and kind of song) 'when God closes a door somewhere He opens a window', i've always believed this to be true. perhaps i preferred to always see the positive in bad situations or perhaps i was simply naive, either way i've been thinking about it a lot recently and here's why: this past sunday my grandmother, grandma warcup, passed away in st. george utah. t say her death was sudden would not be accurate, to say her death was expected would also not be accurate. about 3 weeks ago she underwent a relatively straightforward, relatively simple operation. no one was extremely concerned by this operation, it wasn't that huge of a deal in our minds. and the procedure itself went off like a charm, not a hitch in sight. unfortunately that would be the last good thing to happen to grandma as far as health was concerned. after her surgery she went into a downward spiral and no one could figure out why. at first they thought it was her lungs, then maybe the flu, then perhaps an old radiation holdover from the breast cancer she had 25 years ago, then maybe her blood O2 concentration, then perhaps her liver or possibly the kidneys. whatever it was it was too much for her body to handle, and on sunday my sweet grandpa had to make the impossible decision to take her off of life support and let her pass away in peace. which she did. after 59 years of marriage, he let her go and did so with such grace and love that it makes me cry just thinking about it. i always joke that they had a very scandinavian marriage, both were the children of norwegian immigrant parents born and raised in rural north dakota. they married in a culture where marriage was something you did for the sake of doing it and if you happened to like the other person, then that was a bit of a bonus. but after nearly six decades of life together they had a relationship that i still cannot fully appreciate or even fully understand.

now that was the closing a door part, the opening a window part came yesterday. my cousin amber, whose grandmother grandma warcup was also, went into labor in denver yesterday morning, the very day of grandma's funeral in st. george. a few hours after the conclusion of grandma's service, amber delivered a beautiful and healthy baby girl called nicole. both mom and baby are doing amazingly well and a tenth great-grandchild has been added to grandma warcup's list. it was so remarkable to be siting in grandma and grandpa's house, with all of grandma's antiques and priceless artwork around us but no grandma to be seen and hear amber tell everyone over speaker phone about the arrival of her second daughter. we all cheered and smiled and laughed and hugged, even grandpa, who pointed out that grandma had been able to spend a few days with baby nicole in heaven before nicole had to come down here to start her own journey. no doubt grandma had some choice words of wisdom for her. he also had the wisdom to add that grandma was finally able to meet her granddaughter ashley, my older sister who died nearly 30 (yes, nearly 30) years ago as a baby. grandma had always regretted not being there for ashley's birth and her few short days of life, more than she could say. and for a couple of days she had not one, but two of her girls with her, which i know they all loved. i might be more sad than even i realize about the door that got closed, but that window He opened was a pretty incredible window in exchange.

fotografias.

my friend thelma and myself are probably the only people left on this earth without a digital camera, which means most of the pictures on my computer come through other people's cameras or from ghetto-fabulous scans of my already developed pictures taken by my old school 35mm SLR. anyway, i was looking through my very paltry collection of pix and i came up with some favorites and decided to share them with you all because i never post pictures on my blog...


me and brit in venice. so very, very lovely. too bad we weren't in love.


molly and jooj making out with chicken while up in northern nowhere for brit and mike's wedding fiesta.


possibly the best framed picture of all time. me and linds at mt. rushmore. because duh, who couldn't tell that from this masterpiece of composition?


jooj just being jooj in windy ireland.


the whole gang getting colored at holi.


jooj, vraneshka and brit on sari sunday, yes, we went to church in saris.


very small versions of myself and shawna chilling at the red fort in delhi. it was really hot. really, really hot.


the babies! look how little they were!

spandex: a love story.

dearest spandex,

i know it's been a long time since we last got together and i have to admit, i have missed you. there was once a period in my life when you and i were nearly inseparable. i wore you every day and not just while playing volleyball, but out to the grocery store after practice, out to eat after practice, out almost anywhere after practice. all the while wearing you. and you weren't just any run-of-the-mill kind of spandex either, you were the teensiest, tiniest, most underwear-esque shiny kind of spandex. you know, the kind that allowed for the best butt jiggling and bouncing while i jumped around the court. but then we kind of broke-up, grew apart maybe. i stopped playing volleyball and realized that you might be the most unforgiving fabric on the planet. you and silk cut on the bias could duke it out for things that look the worst on my body. i guess i came to the realization that you should most likely not be worn on anyone who could have any part of them described with the word 'bedonkidonk'. and as you may know, there are more than a few parts of of my body that fit that description. and yet this evening as i was preparing to go to the gym, i found a pair of you, in long pant form nonetheless, and thought, 'what the hell? i don't have any other clean workout pants to wear and going to the gym naked might be kind of awkward'. and so i put you on for the first time in a very long time. and it was rather glorious. it was as if a cascade of warm, pleasant memories flooded over me and i remembered why we had been so close all those many years ago. you're quite comfortable spandex. you give, you stretch, you let me feel more aerodynamic, you're surprisingly comfortable for an item of clothing that acts a lot like sausage casing. it's almost like i'm not wearing anything when i'm wearing you. i find that strangely liberating.

now that i've found you again i promise not to let you slip away. relationships are hard, but so worth it. i'll wash you tomorrow and return you to your place of honor in my sock drawer. until we meet again...

love,
ali

my own favorite things.

because lauren asked, i am posting my own favorite things. i do not watch oprah, but i have heard of her favorite things, mostly (and i'm not ashamed to admit this) from that one episode of '30 rock' when liz thinks she's meets the big o on a flight back from chicago. classic.

#1 fanny's earrings in 'bright star'
i have been looking for earrings similar to the pair fanny brawne wears in the movie 'bright star' ever since i saw it a few weeks ago. if you haven't yet seen this movie, see it. it's incredible and gorgeous. and her earrings are deliriously simple, but ever so pretty. delicate semi-precious pendants. i want them. just like veruca salt. i can't find a picture of the earrings, so here's a lovely still from the film.


#2 friday night lights
not really a thing, i know but i do love it. call me crazy, but i truly enjoy this tv show. it's not just that 'explosions in the sky' provides a large chunk of the music-although hearing 'welcome ghosts' or 'your hand in mine' is NEVER a bad thing-it's also that it's entertaining, realistic, funny and quite charming. and it boasts one of the best casts i've ever seen in one show. no joke. and if that weren't enough, there's always riggins to get the blood flowing. to quote the infallible bethany lowe, "ohhhh, riggins'. right on baby, right on.


#3 north face denali jacket
don't judge me for finally acting like the dirty hippie you all know i am. i LOVE this jacket. yes i look like a backpacker, yes it's not exactly the most flattering item of clothing, yes it's quasi uni-sex and why yes, it is super warm and soft and comfy. that's my story and i'm sticking to it.


#4 melissa tall riding boots by frye
i find these boots kind of sexy. i know they're maybe a little odd, what with the laces and all, but you have to admit they ooze class. now, having said all that i will never buy them in my lifetime and not just because they cost $398. i suffer from a rare condition called 'i have giant man eating calves' and so boots in general are just not a possibility for me. sad face. i can, however, continue to look at them longingly. sigh.


#5 the monster of florence by douglas preston and mario spezi
this book is fascinating on a number of levels, most of them kind of disturbing. it tells the story of a serial killer in and around the city of florence in the 1960's, 70's and 80's. all together there were 16 victims, all of them young couples, killed while having sex in their cars in the tuscan countyside. i couldn't believe i had never heard anything about this case, which was huge news all over italy and most of europe, due not only to the horrific nature of the crimes, but also because the police never came up with a believable suspect. two men were convicted of being the monster and sentenced to prison, but no one, not even the italian police, believe they actually committed the crimes. wtf? it's a fascinating look at the justice systems, corruption, mass hysteria and grief. incredible.


#6 songs for christmas by sufjan stevens
i know its barely november, but this s one of my favorite christmas albums and i really didn't get into it until this year. i don't love every song, but there are a few that i really, really adore. check out 'holy, holy, holy' or 'come thou fount of every blessing'. beautiful.


#7 antonia's line
yes, yes, i know, i know. an avant-garde dutch film with touches of comedic visual surrealism, dominated by a voice-over narration and containing very little dialogue about a household full of oddball, mismatched people presided over by a feminist single mother in the years following WWII. typical ali. as they say on the netflix page,"earthy, sexy and romantic, the film is a joyous, multi-generational celebration of simple pleasures, lust for life and enduring passions." um, yes please.


#8 ribbon
i love ribbon. all kinds, all colors, all patterns. i carry it around with me, tie it onto my bags, keep it in my pockets. basically it just makes me happy, 'nuff said.

just real quick.

just real quick, a few little things about my new job:

1. it's in a donated home located downtown built in 1912. the kitchen is partially original. from 1912. seriously.
2. when i walk from the house to the offices, not only is it a glorious promenade in the san diego sun, but i get to walk by the most amazing victorian and craftsman era homes in the entire city. some of them look like castles, but they're just single family homes. who exactly lives in these houses, i would like to know.
3. it kind of smells like old person.
4. i can leave early and come in late. gotta love non-profits.
5. none of our computers are connected to both the internet AND a printer. it's one or the other. gotta love non-profits.
6. it's located across the street from a real-life, honest-to-goodness brothel. yep.


not the exact homes i walk by, but these are pretty close by.

hired.

i got a new job last week (a quasi real job nonetheless).
yes, i have been officially hired.
let the rejoicing commence.

my friend.

recently i've made a new friend. we met at the gym and his name is charles. charles was in the army for 22 years and 11 months, fought in vietnam, was wounded while there and received the purple heart for his efforts. after he got out of the military, he attended university of hawaii where he got a masters degree in public health and then continued on at san diego state and got a ph.d psychology. i'm also fairly certain he could kick my trash handily if it ever came to fisticuffs between us. have i mentioned charles is 75-years-old? charles is 75-years-old. he finally retired to rancho bernardo about 10 years ago. for those of you not familiar with southern california geography, rancho bernardo is the town located directly next to mine and is known throughout san diego as that place full of old people and buick towncars. it's also where the gym is located and so i spend most nights hanging out with charles and all the other AARP members. so far charles is the only friend i've made since returning home to poway. my mother is very worried that i will never get married. he's very nice and so adorable and i just like the way he calls me 'gracious young lady', since previously in provo i believe i was referred to by some as that 'decrepit old spinster'. but my self-esteem has been restored by charles and his rather charming elliptical machine chit-chat...

me as a gracious young lady.

apparently this is what google image considers to be a 'gracious young lady'. no joke, this was the first image that popped up on the search. seriously?

me as a decrepit old spinster.

perhaps one of the best images of a spinster ever. i hope to be like her one day. dress and all.